BEHIND THE SCENES, OUR LEGENDARY TEAM
David is the lead engineer/inventor and the pulse of The Coldest Water and works in his lab over at Stark Industries (his office). He is primarily powered by freshly roasted espressos, which after 6 years of building away, inspired him to launch The Darkest Coffee. He’s usually working 19 hour days because he just loves it and enjoys figuring out how to make things work better. Rumor has it he defeated a sun from a neighboring galaxy saving trillions of alien life-forms light-years away. On his free time, he loves playing soccer, listening to podcasts, books, creative side projects, and working on Classified Stark Projects.
HEAD OF THE COLDEST EXPERIENCE
Joe is an engineer and chief strategist commander. He runs the ambassador and influencer battalions and ensures our heroes on the battlefield are properly suited. Rumor has it he created a Coldest base on Pluto, a planet who the sun stays far away from as a result. When hes not fighting against the sun, he’s out playing soccer, relaxing in the cold, and enjoying his favorite food, tacos.
StarFleet Commander / Technology
Harry works closely with star fleet command on ensuring battleships are fully operational before battles. He once repaired a galactic starcruiser in the midst of one of the greatest battles, thus turning the tide of the battle, and ensuring swift defeat of the sun.
COLDEST MODEL PHOTOGRAPHY
Bobby Kenney hails from a neighboring moon colony. We discovered him capturing moments of battle in the midst of a major battle while fighting a neighboring sun. Ever since then, we wanted him on our team. He once captured a supernova on camera while backtracking his way out of the extreme heat.
HEAD OF EDITORIAL TEAM
Sulle is our world-class writer and documents our journey so others will remember how many we lost among the way. She’s most known for The Declaration of Peace, which stops the war between the sun and us for a day. Most humans on Earth know this day as Christmas.
MARKETING & ANALYTICS
Rahul loves numbers and data. He’s the backbone to our data operation and ensures we can get out of The Matrix. Everything can be solved with math, says Rahul.
Sharon is as fast as lightning when it comes to making customers satisfied. Word on the street is that Sharon once battled side by side with our logistics professionalist Paul. She strives to never leave a customer unsatisfied. When Sharon is not working hard in the battleship she is spending time with family.
HEAD OF MANAGEMENT
Paul’s known for his attention to detail and prowess on the battlefield. Rumor has it he once led 5 men into battle, and charged the sun by himself. All 5 returned. That’s unheard of. He helps ensure our team is operating at a high efficiency, and assists David with logisitcs and operations. When Paul’s not working, he loves enjoying time with family.
Harlene’s once traveled to another dimension and back. Her language skills are far greater than 99% of all beings on earth with a diverse set in 234 different languages. Rumor has it she created a new language which was adopted by the 5 galaxy alliance.
Ray is perhaps one of the hardest working guys we know. He is typically the first line of response to customers and he does his best to get to everyone as fast as possible. When you’re not happy, Ray’s not happy. On Ray’s free time, he likes watching soccer, hanging out with friends, and enjoying time with family. There are whispers that legendary customer service started with Ray and he has single-highhandedly changed the sun’s rotation as a result.
Ray has his Bachelor’s of Science in Computer and Information Sciences. He’s committed to building trust and strong long term relationships with our customers.
Special Teams General
Customer Support Operations
Assists in fulfilment operations
Warehouse Operations Manager
Kaira was discovered on a Secret Intelligence Space Agency Base between planet XII and XVIO in an alternate universe. She was leading Space Troops into the unknowns of galaxies far, far away when she found out about the mission to defeat the sun against the battle of hot. She realized this was far more important to conquer. Kaira is now leading all warehouse special initiative ops with the best team around. The Darkest Coffee keeps her powered up all day, and in her free time, she spends the hot afternoons with superheros from far away galaxies completing top secret projects. Rumor has it, her best friend is a mini wookie named Chewbacca.
Warehouse Special Projects
Jason forges special projects for advanced operations. Many projects here are related to Jupiter’s orbiting moons. Jason once invented the teleportation hop between two moons that lasted for 2 weeks. The project was experimental and never fully declassified.