BEHIND THE SCENES, OUR LEGENDARY TEAM
Our founder, David is the lead engineer/inventor, he is the pulse of The Coldest Water that keeps us going and the reason for the growth. He works in his secret laboratory over at Stark Industries, with Jarvis giving him a helping hand. He’s primary source of staying powered being some freshly roasted espressos, his coffee addiction paving the way, after six years of brainstorming to launch The Darkest Coffee. He is the definition of a workaholic, usually working nineteen hour days, if not all day. He just loves seeing the company expand and finding new improvements to everything. He enjoys challenges and figuring out how to make things work as affectively as possible. If he isn’t in the laboratory though, you can catch him zooming on this electric longboard or lounging with his sidekicks: Keywei, Nala, Dobei, and Simba. On his free time, he also loves playing soccer, listening to podcasts, and working on Classified Stark Projects. Rumor has it he defeated a sun from a neighboring galaxy saving trillions of alien life-forms light-years away.
HEAD OF THE COLDEST EXPERIENCE
You may think you are seeing double but you are not, the universe knew we needed two brains, Joe or as we call him Mr. Wayne. He is our engineer and chief strategist commander. Being the head of marketing and taking action to bring more excitement to our all of our awesome products. He is one of the most humble and outgoing person, anyone has met. He will pick up a conversation with anyone he meets no matter the atmosphere or topic. With the help of his right-hand Alfred and pals Callie and Rolo, he can dominate anything. He runs the ambassador and influencer battalions and ensures our heroes on the battlefield are properly suited. Rumor has it he created a Coldest base on Pluto, a planet who the sun stays far away from as a result. When he’s not fighting against the sun, he’s out playing soccer, relaxing in the cold, and enjoying his favorite food, tacos.
WAREHOUSE OPERATIONS MANAGER
Kaira was discovered on a Secret Intelligence Space Agency Base between planet XII and XVIO in an alternate universe. She was leading Space Troops into the unknowns of galaxies far, far away when she found out about the mission to defeat the sun against the battle of hot. She realized this was far more important to conquer. Kaira is now leading all warehouse special initiative ops with the best team around. The Darkest Coffee keeps her powered up all day, and in her free time, she spends the hot afternoons with superheros from far away galaxies completing top secret projects. Rumor has it, her best friend is a mini wookie named Chewbacca.
PHOTON LASER MANAGER
HEAD OF MANAGEMENT
Paul’s known for his attention to detail and prowess on the battlefield. Rumor has it he once led 5 men into battle, and charged the sun by himself. All 5 returned. That’s unheard of. He helps ensure our team is operating at a high efficiency, and assists David with logisitcs and operations. When Paul’s not working, he loves enjoying time with family.
HEAD OF CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ray has his Bachelor’s of Science in Computer and Information Sciences. He’s committed to building trust and strong long term relationships with our customers.
Irene is part of a secret division within The Coldest Water. She manages….well we would tell you but then it wouldn’t be a secret. Rumor has it that she discovered cold fusion.
Harlene’s once traveled to another dimension and back. Her language skills are far greater than 99% of all beings on earth with a diverse set in 234 different languages. Rumor has it she created a new language which was adopted by the 5 galaxy alliance.
MARKETING & ANALYTICS
Rahul loves numbers and data. He’s the backbone to our data operation and ensures we can get out of The Matrix. Everything can be solved with math, says Rahul.
Sharon is as fast as lightning when it comes to making customers satisfied. Word on the street is that Sharon once battled side by side with our logistics professionalist Paul. She strives to never leave a customer unsatisfied. When Sharon is not working hard in the battleship she is spending time with family.